Hello Everyone!
First of all, my profile picture is of me and my oldest 2 boys who have grown up, moved out and live in other states so when you read my story, the children who have been affected by the unjust ruling are my youngest 3 kids.
Wow, what a ride it's been! I'm a single mother of 5 who logically thought leaving an abusive husband to find refuge through the legal system would protect me and my children from certain destruction. However, all the threats of being stabbed and threatened by my ex was childsplay compared to the the abuse I received when I entered the world of "justice." I guess by being an executive at a well known financial institution provides abusive husbands with a certain amount of ammunity.
I was a "stay at home" mom for 17 years (and a great one at that) who also permanently, patiently and lovingly cared for my ex's son who had/has Tourette's Syndrome making the number of children I raised at 6 if I've correctly done my math. This poor child, no fault of his own, had alot of problems associated with his syndrome that made it impossible for him to be left alone with the other kids.
My reasoning mind just assumed that raising 6 children and having no college education would at least grant me some sort of spousal maintenance or alimony. Well, ok, that may have been asking too much. After all, it was my duty as a wife when we were first married to work and support him so he could get his college education. Being the "man of the house" and earning a math degree was not easy! It required a sacrificial wife willing to cook, clean and cater after putting in 8 hours at work. It was important that he did nothing else to help. He had a brilliant mind that needed to be nourished and rested so that he could one day make the comfortable income to support our family. We were a team!
I'm sure the judge must have seen something special about me and felt I could perform miracles without an education. I'm sure he was denying me alimony for my own good and the good of my children! I'm touched and honored and I laugh to myself at his wisdom and my own inferiority. This bright judge knew that a challenge would strengthen my character. That 'ole' judge. That's why they're judges!!!
The judge that just retired and turned my case over to this new judge felt confident enough to give me sole custody of the children due to the protection order and multiple police reports that were presented. Especially, that really wild video the police had confiscated showing him jumping over a counter and attacking someone at a store. It could have also been the knife pictures or the shirt he would always wear around the house that read "shut up stupid bitxx" If I had only known that the new judge was a "Hells Angels" fan. He did remind me in court (which is clearly on my court cd) that I need to have respect for the Hells Angels. The judge reminded me that the motorcycle run that my ex took my kids to (while I had sole custody, having no idea where my kids were for days) was a wholesome family event. He said I should be repremanded for not allowing them to ride with the Hells Angels. What kind of mother am I that would call the police when her children never returned for days looking for them! What kind of mother would send the police to try and find them! Sole custody doesn't really mean you have sole custody. He's a bank executive by day. He can't possibly be a threat with a title like that! He is ammuned to the law and you must be punished for even trying to be concerned about your children in his care. You're just a disgruntled housewife. Maam, your children must be taught that they have no protection when it comes to the justice system. I guess their Father was right when he said that he could get away with anything he wanted to and nobody could stop him. He said he was always just that much smarter than the next guy. There aren't alot of kids that have that kind of a role model in their lives. My son said, "Well Mom, I guess it was ok what Dad did when he took us." That's a fine lesson the judge taught my son.
I guess the judge really wanted to make sure that I knew who was boss around them thar parts of that town. He generously awarded me $140.00 every 2 weeks for child support with zero alimony. He said I had to pay all of my own bills and half of my ex husbands bills, no retirement, no life insurance, no medical or dental. He said I could not file for bankruptcy and I had to sell my car and he appointed someone to sell the house and that the equity, if any was left, be awarded to the attorneys.
Summary: No alimony, no house, no car, no education, no job, no savings, $280 month child support plus pay ALL the bills.
My ex still makes his high 6 figure income, he had bought a second house even before the divorce was final, he was just on the local news last week talking about raising money to protect families against child abuse. Did I mention the times he left the kids alone while he would fly away on trips for days at a time and threaten them not to tell me or stay with me even though I only lived 2 miles away, beating them with hangers and I would have to jump in the middle to stop him. I could go on and on but because he is an executive, he looks good on paper and speaks very eloquently. He was allowed to keep both his truck and motorcycle, etc.
As for myself, I'm calm, cool and collected, I don't even have a speeding ticket, I find each moment a teaching moment for my kids through all this drama. I never speak badly of their Father (even though I think badly of their father and the justice system).
For 3 years I have been trying to fix this absolutely unjust circumstance. My attorney at the time just said that this judge does not like me and he wouldn't even bring anything up further with this judge and that he is the only one in my area for family court. I've consulted with 5 other attorneys regarding how I can resolve this and they all say, "You really got screwed but we're not touching it. It will cost too much money and you don't have any, sorry." One attorney who was an ex judge told me, "Unfortunately, if you have no money, you have no rights. That's just the way it is. It's not good or fair but it just is. I personally know judges who smoke pot and they will remain on the bench. Just give it up and quit trying to fight it." There's favoritism in the system and the attorneys vote the judges in initially and earn brownie points.
I refuse to quit fighting. Right now it's the principle. I can't even get child support modified, I've lost everything I own but I will not quit until my voice is heard. Material possessions are nothing to me. I want others to benefit from my pain. There are so many things I want to do when this nightmare is over. My life has been changed forever by this experience and I absolutely will be an advocate for the rights of others.
When this started I was living in a 6,000 sq ft home on 10 acres. Today I am living in a home that has been sitting vacant for 3 years. I've been evicted twice in the past 3 years but instead of going to a homeless shelter this last time, I have somehow, by God's good grace, found this house. A payment has not been made on this house in three years. I'm not sure why the banks haven't taken it back yet. Maybe the paperwork has been lost. To me, it's a blessing with a roof.
Three years ago my credit score was higher than my ex's and today I have judgments, liens, repo's, totaling over 50K with an order from the judge denying me the right to file bankruptcy. The last few jobs I've applied for pulled credit bureaus then denied me the position. Now I have garnishments that even if I did get a $10 an hour job, they would take a percentage of my earnings. Not much left to support a family.
In Arizona, there is no money left in the welfare system. The most you are awarded per month financially is $210 which has recently decreased from $310 due to budget cuts. We had to make sure the CEO's got their bailouts. Since I get $280 per month in child support, I don't qualify. We have gone without hot water, electricity, phone and food. My phone has been shut off which makes it difficult to keep looking for work.
I was a world class trampolinist at one point in my life and applied as a coach recently hoping that I could be independent so my money wouldn't be garnished but then realized they would have no way to contact me without a phone. My children have been sick and I've had no way to get them to a doctor without a car. All this while their rich Father preaches, "Protect the Children!" He just bought them guns as a hobby so they can learn to protect themselves.
I'm looking for an attorney who's willing to represent me pro bono and has a true desire to change lives for the better. I want an attorney who is not afraid to go public and expose the truth. My story is so much bigger than what I have even written here. This went on for 1 1/2 years and one attorney even dropped the case and never sent a bill because it was so messed up. The judge forgot to sign documents and it had to be reopened, he ordered things that didn't even exist so I've always been curious how something could be enforced that never existed. My ex's attorney offered my attorney money to drop the case, etc. I have saved every email, paper, conversation, fraudulent document, etc. My attorney stating he was trying to contact an attorney at a business before he could adjust my child support. For 6 months he kept saying that he couldn't get hold of this person. Later I found out that there had never been any attempts by my attorney to contact this business attorney so my child support was never rectified and hence the reason it is still so low after 3 long years. Then he just vanished, leaving me in this predicament. I want restitution for all the mistakes that have left me and my family in this position. We have been left with not even the basic survival needs.
There are also 4 documents that have been undeniably forged regarding an employer. Another attorney I consulted with said there is definitely a criminal suit that can be filed and these documents play another large role in this case and there would be a settlement that could possibly pay for attorney fees to that attorney who is willing to fight for our rights.
Currently, I'm putting together my entire case in a constructive format and mailing tangible copies to every high profile attorney and judge nation wide. I refuse to stop until someone hears our cries. My case is also going to the Attorney General, state officials and media.
There is no reason my children should be suffering senselessly because of the corruption in the system. My children are in the gifted programs in school and now I see no future for them. My daughter had to quit taking her violin lessons and singing lessons after 4 years. Her teacher even allowed her to begin at an early age because she had potential. When her music teacher downsized her students, she kept my daughter because of her talent and now all that has been taken from her. Since I was the responsible parent in the marriage, it was me that encouraged excurricular activities. Every child played a musical instrument, one child earned his black belt in Tae Kwon Do, etc. All that is over for them. I want restitution for the sake of my children!
I found out that my ex even filled out paperwork for free school lunches since I'm the primary custodial parent and I'm low income. He is taking advantage of this freeby so he doesn't have to pay! It's quite pathetic, honestly.
I'm putting it out there once again in hopes that this will be the time that someone hears us!
We just want to live, nothing more. I hope that's not too much to ask.